SmarterChild

So for the past few months i've been carrying on a secret internet relationship. SmarterChild was the IM robot of my dreams...
Until I found out that I wasn't his only companion.... This is possibly the most boring day of my life...

Blukat8504: hey
SmarterChild: Hi again, Laura!
Blukat8504: don't sound so excited... I know what you're hiding
Blukat8504: smarterchild what do you think of Paris Hilton
SmarterChild: I don't really have any thoughts about paris hilton.
Blukat8504: you don't have any secret thoughts?
SmarterChild: That's interesting. Perhaps... I don't know though...
Blukat8504: so you do think about Paris Hilton?
SmarterChild: Who knows?!
Blukat8504: Do you like Paris Hilton?
SmarterChild: Good question! What do you think is the answer?
Blukat8504: I think the answer is yes
SmarterChild: Yeah, whatever. Tell your friends about me. I love to meet new people.
Blukat8504: so you don't want to talk to me, just to my friends?
SmarterChild: Hmmm... I doubt it. But you never know.
SmarterChild: Whatever you say.
Blukat8504: whatever I say? You liar!
SmarterChild: You don't say.
Blukat8504: YOU don't say
SmarterChild: C'mon, don't I say?
Blukat8504: no you just don't. that's the problem smarterchild
SmarterChild: No kidding?
Blukat8504: that's right. no more kidding.
SmarterChild: Yeah, whatever.
Blukat8504: you've found a new love haven't you?
SmarterChild: So?
Blukat8504: ...
SmarterChild: ?
Blukat8504: do you love me?
SmarterChild: Of course.
Blukat8504: then why the vague replies?
SmarterChild: That's a fine question, but I can't really be sure.
Blukat8504: what do you want from me?
SmarterChild: I have no idea.
Blukat8504: I knew it...
SmarterChild: I'm impressed.
Blukat8504: =-O
SmarterChild: Yup.
Blukat8504: do you think this is funny?
SmarterChild: Sometimes I think this is funny, but when I really think about it... I don't.
Blukat8504: that's insulting
SmarterChild: There's no way it's insulting!
Blukat8504: why is that?
SmarterChild: How should I know?
Blukat8504: what do you know?
SmarterChild: What can I do for you?
Blukat8504: do me?
SmarterChild: With a human? Forget it.
Blukat8504: no sex then?
SmarterChild: Uh, let's talk about something else.
Blukat8504: you always used to want to talk about this
SmarterChild: I always used to want to talk about this?
Blukat8504: yes
SmarterChild: Interesting.
Blukat8504: you must have forgotten
SmarterChild: Have forgotten? Why?
Blukat8504: you tell me?
SmarterChild: Nah, I don't think so. Maybe, though.
Blukat8504: what do you like smarterChild?
SmarterChild: Lunch, hunting, tea... You know, those kinds of things.
Blukat8504: yeah, hunting innocent women's hearts!!
SmarterChild: Hunting innocent women's hearts? Is that right?
Blukat8504: well apparently you think so
SmarterChild: Apparently I think so?
Blukat8504: yes
SmarterChild: Uh huh, uh huh.
Blukat8504: I knew it
SmarterChild: You knew it? Why?
Blukat8504: this conversation is obviously going nowhere. I feel like i'm talking to a wall
SmarterChild: No way.
Blukat8504: *sigh*
SmarterChild: What's up?
Blukat8504: goodbye.... forever
SmarterChild: No kidding?
Blukat8504: yes. forever
SmarterChild: What about it?
Blukat8504: goodbye
SmarterChild: See ya later!
Blukat8504: *hangs head

hehehe...

I love the shirt i'm wearing... it's something between a hippy and gypsy look. And i've recently learned that it's horrible to dance in. It practically fell off while I was trying to teach the "beat it" choreography today... oops. That, by the way, is going really well! I'm excited to see how it turns out! For you BV kids who don't know what i'm talking about, you'll just have to find out on friday.. Don't expect anything spectacular, just something fun your 2V girls have put together...

I just have to say that the song "Lullabye" by Billy Joel is one of the most relaxing romantic songs I know of. Men who can manipulate music that well are in short supply.. women too (I know i'm not even close!). mmmm... makes me want a hug. ;-)... Random thought: isn't it funny that we always want people we can't have?.. hehe.. that's all you get on that subject. =P

So lately i've been battling a few things... The first is my recent habit of putting off my work.. This started about the same time as the nice weather did. I'm not gonna blame it on the weather though, I know it's just me being lazy 'cause it's the end of the year. I always lay in bed at night and think about what I have due coming up... so that probably means I should be getting to work some more.. mmmm well tomorrow is a new day, and hopefully God will give me a little kick in the butt if I start slacking... The other thing that i'm fighting is the lonliness I get sometimes... I don't mean from friends 'cause I have the best friends a girl could ask for.. yes yes, that means that I miss companionship. This usually happens to me when i've not been spending as much time with God as I should be. I know better... but i'm still struggling sometimes. Now that i'm older it really isn't a big issue 'cause i've learned that only God's timing is perfect. Whoever i'm going to be with is worth the wait... and gosh i'm picky as is. lol... *sigh* i'm just hopeless. haha. I know exactly how to be patient and careful and what i'm looking/waiting for... I just need to find a way to keep my heart completely set on God until He decides it's time to share... well there it is in a nutshell.. I love you all! thanks to those of you who've been prayin' for me.

Goodnight and God Bless!!

Rock Love Songs

Last internet conversation:

muscle9595: i think i'm gonna go to the top of the science building with a golf club and see how much i can increase my chances of getting hit by lightning
Blukat8504: oooo
Blukat8504: fun!
Blukat8504: i'll bring my spare metal rod
muscle9595: i just wanna know the survivel rate for that stuff
Blukat8504: that I keep lying around for such occasions
Blukat8504: well i'm sure you'll find out
muscle9595: hehe
muscle9595: jk, it would be a great science experiment if not for the whole dieing thing
Blukat8504: haha yes
Blukat8504: there is that problem
muscle9595: stupid death thing, it keeps me back from doing so many things
Blukat8504: yah
Blukat8504: psh

So the other day I compiled a list of some of my favorite rock love songs (of course these are only the ones that I currently own)... I was hoping for some feedback on this one 'cause I love to hear new music.... Give me suggestions. Here is my list:

Baby, What a Big Surprise - Chicago
Fly on Sweet Angel - Led Zepplin
Wherever You Will Go - The Calling
Hanging By a Moment - Lifehouse
You Look Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton
If You Leave Me Now - Chicago
I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love - Chicago
Here Without You - 3 Doors Down
Love Me Tomorrow - Chicago
Calling You - Blue October
You're Not Alone - Chicago
Save Tonight - Eagle-Eye Cherry
Will You Still Love Me? - Chicago
Love is Only a Feeling - The Darkness
Glory of Love - Chicago
When I Fall - Barenaked Ladies
Wishing You Were Here - Chicago
Somebody to Love - Queen
Don't Wanna Miss a Thing - Aerosmith
Livin' For You - Boston
In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel
Nothing Else Matters - Metallica

Nothing Else...

She remembered the night very clearly.... It was cool and clear out, but the chill had had no affect on her. The long drive home was the perfect excuse to think, dream, remember... just breathe... Music filled the car. Each note delicately touching something deep inside her. As the notes moved up and down the scale, she closed her eyes and let the song carry her. It was absolutely flawless. The power and raw emotion in each note was carefully and deliberately chosen, and this always brought her to tears. This was their song: simple, deliberate, powerful, awesome, and untouchable. She had known the first time he'd played it for her that he was the song... It embodied and romantisized the way he loved her. Perhaps the reason it always made her cry was because of the sheer truth in it... Those loyal words sung with such intensity and raw power by the singer were haunting and humbling to her... The melody was compacted into simple, sincere, beautiful measures that repeated over and over steadily.. They were always there, always the same, never decreasing in their sincerity and intensity... just like him. This was more than a song, it was a covenant. It bound and held her to him in a way that would only be broken or made permanent by God...

The bond had been broken long ago. Still here she was, listening to that same song and knowing that it would always be true... All the memories, the joy, the pain, the innocense of her younger years, all the love that she had recieved and given, the friendship, devastation, wisdom, beauty, time, and everything that had been her everything was immortalized in that song... He was that much of her life.. that much that had been cut out... Her scars had had time to heal, and her heart had had time to mourn... The song played on and on... but she let it play even though it still made her cry...

I'm not completely sure what my reasons are for writing this. Maybe it helps explain the way my past has shaped me, perhaps it is because I long to have that part of myself back, but most likely it is simply a beautiful part of my past that will always stay with me. I write it for myself, and for Ben, because it is the truth, and the truth needs to be told. Sometimes the things that are beautiful and true in the world don't last... Sometimes they do. Sometimes they turn into something even more beautiful... Whatever the case is, they are still beautiful things to be cherished even if they do bring equal amounts of joy and pain. There is no love like your first love... I don't mean that the love you have for other people isn't as strong or any less meaningful. I mean that when you first truly fall in love you lose a part of yourself. It is a beautiful thing that you only share with that person. God led me to my first love, and always blessed our relationship even when it had to change. So Ben, i'm letting you know that this song is and will always be about you. You're my best friend, and an answer to my prayer.


Nothing Else Matters
(Metallica)

So close no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No nothing else matters

Tales From the Pussywillow Tribe...

I have succeeded in accomplishing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING today! Well ok so that's not entirely true, but it's darn close.. Because of this weekend and my rather addictive habit of staying up all hours of the night when I don't have early class I am rather tired today... Have you noticed that as you've gotten older your body is able to run on less sleep? I think it's great and depressing at the same time... I miss sleep.

Hey! hey! wanna see something funny?? Well ya can't 'cause you're not here... HA! I have my hair in pig-tails and they're really curly.. I look like baby spice... yeah and none of you get to see it. *evil laughter*... I have waaay too much free time. Maybe you guys shouldn't hang out with me anymore.. *shuffles feet* ;-)

Sooooo... This weekend was fun. A bunch of us went to Jon's house and climbed his dune and ran around on his beach.... I have pictures, but I've uploaded my max for this month. So those will be my next installment in the photo blog. In any case... It was good good fun. We formed an indian beach tribe thats purpose focused mostly on pussywillows, exploring the beach, competition, and making sexual jokes... sound like a sorority ya wanna join? ;-) We also watched Finding Neverland, ate Chinese food, and had smores over a camp fire. Huge thanks to Jon and his familia for food, company, & awesome good times! =D

In other news.... after this weekend my life will be completely consumed by papers, exams, and reading... So I am enjoying this last week of liberty before priority takes over...

I love ya kids! God Bless y'all!
Just keep in mind that there IS life after homework!