I've been feeling a little discouraged today.
But perhaps that's the natural thing to happen when work is testing the limits of your thinking... School is hard this semester, and today I think maybe I've just let my guard down.
The first thing that happened was that I got my second test back in my bible class, and for the first time in any class in my major, I got a C on a test. The grade will go nicely with the grade I recieved on my first reflection paper, which was basically worse... I'm not sure what's going on in this class, especially since I've never gotten grades like these, and I still don't feel like i've gotten a sufficient explanation as to why these grades are so low... But anyways, ranting aside, I really thought that I didn't let it bother me initially, but maybe subconsciously it took its toll.
There were other things that I think have felt like little pricks today too. Really small insignificant things like Martina McBride singing: "You can love someone with all you heart for all the right reasons, and in a moment they can choose to walk away... love 'em anyway." and reading an assignment for my Buddhism class that talks about Zen Buddhist Monks who are leaders of their sanghas having numerous illicit affairs with their students, and singing a song in choir today that is so profoundly beautiful that it nearly makes me cry every time we sing it (could be bad for the tour...). I also walked into work today and found my employer, who is one of the sweetest women I know, looking like she had been crying. And then, of course, when everything else seems to be sinking my spirits for the day, I start to think about the future and how shakey and uncertain it seems...
Then again, there are so many blessings in my life that I really have no reason to worry and complain and feel insecure...
*sigh*
Someone help me talk me out of this.
