Man.
I'm SO hungry I could eat an entire COW...
Our choir is performing with the Grand Rapids symphony in a week and a half and we had a 3 hour rehearsal today with the maestro. And, of course, the rehearsal was scheduled from 11:00am - 1:00pm... I, being the intelligent girl I am, decided that 1/2 a poptart would be enough to hold me over 'till after rehearsal and my 1:00 advising appointment. Bad choice... At 2pm I darted into our on-campus fast food joint and demolished a cheeseburger. And God saw that it was good... lol... perhaps i've spent a little too much time in the Old Testament.
The maestro was really cool. He was a very sophisticated brittish man in his 40s or early 50s who wore black pants and a tight-fitting grey turtle-neck. He seemed very american but with very English roots. His accent wasn't very strong, so I image he's been here for a time. It was also obvious that he was a string player because he wanted the pitch to be a tad higher then usual. I love it when conductors are obviously conductors... hehe oh fun times.
I just got the Stephen Speaks cd the other day and I liked it so much!
Thought that i'd put the lyrics of this song up because it seemed appropriate... and beautiful
Coming Home
I'm coming home to see you,
yes I'm coming home tonight.
If the time gone has wronged you
then I'm gonna make it right.
I'm gonna hear how much you missed me
and I'm gonna say the same
How I miss the way you touch me
and the way you say my name.
But don't get used to this coming home thing
Cause next time I'm leaving
You're the one I'm gonna bring.
I'm taking you to Italy,
We're gonna sail to Rome.
If we find Hawaii
then we'll make that our home.
I'm taking you to London,
we'll backpack to France.
But leave this town again without you...
there ain't a chance.
I can see the city lights now,
the plane is almost in
I can't help but giggle at
all the trouble we'll get in
Oh baby, leaving you behind
had to be a sin
But never fear,
cause it ain't happening again.
I'm taking you to Italy,
we're gonna sail to Rome.
If we find Hawaii,
then we'll make that our home.
I'm taking you to London
and we'll backpack to France.
But leave this town again without you...
there ain't a chance
Check out Stephen Speaks music, they're cool.
October 26, 2005
October 24, 2005
Here it comes... another facet of my dark side.
Congrads! you've hit my site on a tangent day!
Most days I wake up and feel certain about the future. By that I mean that I'm not afraid of whats out there. Somedays, though, I catch myself worrying. Maybe it's just because of society, maybe it's because of what i've seen in the world... Probably it's both. When I think about what I want in life, I understand that I will have to fight to keep whatever I get.
There are a few people my age who see the world they way I do. These people have a great deal of fear of people and of the future. These kids know exactly how much an individual is worth, and are terrified of others who don't. Most of them set their goals in safe places, becoming very successful over-achievers in their profession of choice. These people go on to make a name for themselves, or cure some evil of greater-humanity. Why do they do this? This way they can't be hurt by the people who don't understand. Because they are afraid. Because they understand that in marriage and relationships people are an independent variable, and people can change their minds.
The problem is that I am not one of these people. I can't kill the hope that someday people will understand. The truth is that sometimes I'm positive that the people I care about do not understand how much they mean to me. If I could, I would do anything for them. A long time ago I learned that it wasn't up to me to take care of everyone. I learned that it was ok to be angry and to question. I leaned it was ok to cry when everything fell on top of me, and, I learned that everything shouldn't be on top of me. It was only later I learned that manipulation and deception both come in innocent and/or unintentional forms.
I also learned the value of the individual.
What do I want in life? Stability. Certainty. Trust. And, most of all, to get back what I give. That's all.
People tell me all the time that i'm "strong" and "reslilant". Honestly, I don't quite know what that means. Can I be broken? I'm not sure. I would like to think not. Do I ever despair? I haven't in a very long time. I suppose this is why people tell me i'm "perpetually optimistic".
I don't really write this for any reason other then to put pieces together in my mind.
Maybe it's just today... who knows why. I don't. I would love for there to be an answer to my questions and an end to my supressed fears... But honestly, only time and only actions will prove or destroy my demons.
Life isn't fair and all we can do is learn, change, and move on.
Most days I wake up and feel certain about the future. By that I mean that I'm not afraid of whats out there. Somedays, though, I catch myself worrying. Maybe it's just because of society, maybe it's because of what i've seen in the world... Probably it's both. When I think about what I want in life, I understand that I will have to fight to keep whatever I get.
There are a few people my age who see the world they way I do. These people have a great deal of fear of people and of the future. These kids know exactly how much an individual is worth, and are terrified of others who don't. Most of them set their goals in safe places, becoming very successful over-achievers in their profession of choice. These people go on to make a name for themselves, or cure some evil of greater-humanity. Why do they do this? This way they can't be hurt by the people who don't understand. Because they are afraid. Because they understand that in marriage and relationships people are an independent variable, and people can change their minds.
The problem is that I am not one of these people. I can't kill the hope that someday people will understand. The truth is that sometimes I'm positive that the people I care about do not understand how much they mean to me. If I could, I would do anything for them. A long time ago I learned that it wasn't up to me to take care of everyone. I learned that it was ok to be angry and to question. I leaned it was ok to cry when everything fell on top of me, and, I learned that everything shouldn't be on top of me. It was only later I learned that manipulation and deception both come in innocent and/or unintentional forms.
I also learned the value of the individual.
What do I want in life? Stability. Certainty. Trust. And, most of all, to get back what I give. That's all.
People tell me all the time that i'm "strong" and "reslilant". Honestly, I don't quite know what that means. Can I be broken? I'm not sure. I would like to think not. Do I ever despair? I haven't in a very long time. I suppose this is why people tell me i'm "perpetually optimistic".
I don't really write this for any reason other then to put pieces together in my mind.
Maybe it's just today... who knows why. I don't. I would love for there to be an answer to my questions and an end to my supressed fears... But honestly, only time and only actions will prove or destroy my demons.
Life isn't fair and all we can do is learn, change, and move on.
!!!
New pictures are up! This one was from one of my concerts this weekend.
The flowers made my weekend!
=)
The flowers made my weekend!
=)
October 23, 2005
"Your attention, please."
mmmmm shortbread cookies are definately soul food.. and my soul has a hefty appetite! =D
G'day!
Walking through the airport today I listened to the automated recording that repeats the explicit commandments of American airports: thou shalt not leave thy luggage unattended, thou shalt not park thy car curbside, thou shalt not be/associate with a terrorist, something about smoking and handguns, etc... I'll admit that the first thing that popped into my head was the scene from the movie "Airplane" where the automated voices get into a lover's quarel... but that's not important.
The second thing I noticed was the fact that before announcing a commandment, the automated voice would always say "Your attention please." Being the serious intellectual that I am, my immediate reaction was to stare at the ceiling in mock confusion and blurt out; "God??" Apparently my family found more stupidity than amusement in my joke because they continued walking without more than a glance in my direction. I do enjoy playing the blithering idiot once in awhile.
Seriously though, it's interesting to think about God manifesting Himself through a public over-head speaker system. I mean, that's what we all want, right? We all want God to be a physical audible being who is constantly manifesting himself in instant messages and emails, on street-corners, sports bars, and kitchen counters, and any other time & place we want Him (emphasis on the words "we" and "want"). It seems like the truth is that God is never when or where we want Him to be. He is never close, but always somehow removed from our physical world, our logic, and our consciousness. Or, adversely, He does exist but His nature is somehow flawed or impersonal. Though I don't expect you to agree with me, I cannot believe either of these things. I won't sit here and argue for the existance of God, or even for existance itself... The truth, I believe, is that if you are simply unwilling to entertain/consider the idea that there could be a personal, good God, you have not examined the facts closely enough. "Your attention please" What if God really was speaking to me through that airport speaker? Maybe He knew just how empty and far away from Him I felt today, and so He used those few words to get my attention because He knew that I would pay attention...
Well... that's for you to decide.
Leave me your thoughts/criticisms/questions and/or hate mail. All are appreciated.
=)
I must go (it's FREEZING in here!!!), but I will write soon!
Love you all!
G'day!
Walking through the airport today I listened to the automated recording that repeats the explicit commandments of American airports: thou shalt not leave thy luggage unattended, thou shalt not park thy car curbside, thou shalt not be/associate with a terrorist, something about smoking and handguns, etc... I'll admit that the first thing that popped into my head was the scene from the movie "Airplane" where the automated voices get into a lover's quarel... but that's not important.
The second thing I noticed was the fact that before announcing a commandment, the automated voice would always say "Your attention please." Being the serious intellectual that I am, my immediate reaction was to stare at the ceiling in mock confusion and blurt out; "God??" Apparently my family found more stupidity than amusement in my joke because they continued walking without more than a glance in my direction. I do enjoy playing the blithering idiot once in awhile.
Seriously though, it's interesting to think about God manifesting Himself through a public over-head speaker system. I mean, that's what we all want, right? We all want God to be a physical audible being who is constantly manifesting himself in instant messages and emails, on street-corners, sports bars, and kitchen counters, and any other time & place we want Him (emphasis on the words "we" and "want"). It seems like the truth is that God is never when or where we want Him to be. He is never close, but always somehow removed from our physical world, our logic, and our consciousness. Or, adversely, He does exist but His nature is somehow flawed or impersonal. Though I don't expect you to agree with me, I cannot believe either of these things. I won't sit here and argue for the existance of God, or even for existance itself... The truth, I believe, is that if you are simply unwilling to entertain/consider the idea that there could be a personal, good God, you have not examined the facts closely enough. "Your attention please" What if God really was speaking to me through that airport speaker? Maybe He knew just how empty and far away from Him I felt today, and so He used those few words to get my attention because He knew that I would pay attention...
Well... that's for you to decide.
Leave me your thoughts/criticisms/questions and/or hate mail. All are appreciated.
=)
I must go (it's FREEZING in here!!!), but I will write soon!
Love you all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)