She remembered the night very clearly.... It was cool and clear out, but the chill had had no affect on her. The long drive home was the perfect excuse to think, dream, remember... just breathe... Music filled the car. Each note delicately touching something deep inside her. As the notes moved up and down the scale, she closed her eyes and let the song carry her. It was absolutely flawless. The power and raw emotion in each note was carefully and deliberately chosen, and this always brought her to tears. This was their song: simple, deliberate, powerful, awesome, and untouchable. She had known the first time he'd played it for her that he was the song... It embodied and romantisized the way he loved her. Perhaps the reason it always made her cry was because of the sheer truth in it... Those loyal words sung with such intensity and raw power by the singer were haunting and humbling to her... The melody was compacted into simple, sincere, beautiful measures that repeated over and over steadily.. They were always there, always the same, never decreasing in their sincerity and intensity... just like him. This was more than a song, it was a covenant. It bound and held her to him in a way that would only be broken or made permanent by God...
The bond had been broken long ago. Still here she was, listening to that same song and knowing that it would always be true... All the memories, the joy, the pain, the innocense of her younger years, all the love that she had recieved and given, the friendship, devastation, wisdom, beauty, time, and everything that had been her everything was immortalized in that song... He was that much of her life.. that much that had been cut out... Her scars had had time to heal, and her heart had had time to mourn... The song played on and on... but she let it play even though it still made her cry...
I'm not completely sure what my reasons are for writing this. Maybe it helps explain the way my past has shaped me, perhaps it is because I long to have that part of myself back, but most likely it is simply a beautiful part of my past that will always stay with me. I write it for myself, and for Ben, because it is the truth, and the truth needs to be told. Sometimes the things that are beautiful and true in the world don't last... Sometimes they do. Sometimes they turn into something even more beautiful... Whatever the case is, they are still beautiful things to be cherished even if they do bring equal amounts of joy and pain. There is no love like your first love... I don't mean that the love you have for other people isn't as strong or any less meaningful. I mean that when you first truly fall in love you lose a part of yourself. It is a beautiful thing that you only share with that person. God led me to my first love, and always blessed our relationship even when it had to change. So Ben, i'm letting you know that this song is and will always be about you. You're my best friend, and an answer to my prayer.
Nothing Else Matters
(Metallica)
So close no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don’t just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn’t be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No nothing else matters
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