I wrote this a long time ago when I was angry. I just don't want to hurt anymore. I am still praying it isn't true.


The Snow

The snow falls softly as my tears
Framing my face
All around me is white and cold
But inside I am red and hot.

Snowflakes dancing, laughing,
Whirling around the small girl who trudges
Through their spotless world

She pays them no mind
Their defense won't sway her from her mission.
Through the snow she sees the fortress
A wall built slowly over many years

It's majestic features are regal,
But it's angles are sharp
And it's barricade is solid ice

The determination shows in her eyes
But her hands are trembling

With all her might,
She throws herself at the wall
Tearing at it's smooth exterior.

Screaming, and struggling helplessly,
She falls to the ground in exhaustion
Sobbing, and praying

Suddenly, a shining light appears
At the top of the farthest tower.
A glimmer of hope

A figure appears
He never speaks
But stands aloof
Staring down at the tear stricken child

All around him is shining and silvery
The snowflakes sparkle in the moonlight
And swirl in intricate waves
Around the icy wizard


The girl is frightened and blinded
By the false light,
She looks into the wizard's face.

Behind frozen features and dry eyes
She sees the hot tears;
Frustration and anger like her own
Burning through the coldness

But as quickly as the ice thins,
The cold freezes it.
And the wizard is quickly locked inside his frozen fortress

The girl stands helplessly at the gate
Bewildered, cold and alone
The snowflakes dance around her and freeze on her cheeks.

"I'll not come again"
The girl is saying,
"I can't keep living in a land
Where spring never comes"

A single tear falls from her eye
And lands at the foot of the castle
In it's place, a single rose buds in the snow

The snowflakes dance and laugh around
The small girl who is slowly fading from
Their spotless world

Deep within his castle
The wizard watches the girl walk away
She will not return.

The cold becomes colder

But

A single tear falls from his lashes.
He does not wipe it away.
And for a brief moment,
He is mortal.

You know when sometimes you read or hear something that you haven't heard in a long time and it suddenly makes sense to you?

This song made me cry in 6th grade. It makes me cry more now.

Light In Your Eyes
(Blessid Union of Souls)

I can't remember the last time that we kissed goodbye
All our "I love you's" were just not enough to survive
Something your eyes never told me
But it's only now too plain to see
Brilliant disguise when you hold me
And I'm free
I've been thinking and here's what I've come to conclude
Sometimes the distance is more than two people can use
But how could I have known girl
It was time and not space you would need
Darling tonight I could hold you and you would know
But would you believe
There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
There's a place in your heart where I used to be
Was I wrong to assume that you were waiting for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me
Cards and phone calls and photograph pictures of you
Constant reminder of all the things you get used to
Is there a chance in hell or heaven
That there's still something here to build on
Or do you just pick up the pieces after they fall
But after all
There's a light in your eyes that I used to see
And a song in the words that you spoke to me
Was I wrong to believe in your melody
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me
Should I keep on waiting or does love keep on fading away
Fading away
It's been a while since I've seen you so how have you been
Did you get my letter I wrote you, but I did not send
I tried to call your old number
But the voice that I heard on the phone
I recognized but she told me the number was wrong
There's a light in my eyes but it's too bright to see
And a pain in my heart where you used to be
Guess I was wrong to assume that you were waiting here for me
There's a light in your eyes
Did you leave that light burning for me

I'm really lonely, but I know i'll make it. We'll make it.


Livin' For You
(Boston)

"Livin' without you never could be so wrong
Don't need to say it, I never waited so long
Thinking about you in everthing I do
Love for giving
You know I'm just livin' for you
And I, I never needed to lie
Can't you see I believe in my heart when I'm saying
It's love that you see
You're just the one for me
I'm praying

Maybe I'm dreaming, don't want to wake up now
Baby, I love you, I always knew it somehow
Happened so easy, don't need to think it through
It's not so amazing
Been going so crazy for you

Dreaming and hoping, hoping that dreams come true
You're my religion, girl, I've been living for you
Don't want to fight it, tried everything I know
I won't deny it
You're everywhere I try to go

And I, I never needed to lie
Can't you see I believe in my heart when I'm saying
It's love that you see
You mean the world to me
I'm praying for you

Knew it so easy, don't have to think it through
Love is for giving
I know I'm just livin' for you

Love is for giving
I know I'm just livin' for you"



It's no secret.
I love you.

Warriors of the Truth

I am a fighter
A warrior with a shield of truth
Feared by the underworld
Because of the source of my strength

I am a human
My skin will bleed
And my bones may be broken
But my soul is guarded by an infallible truth
And you will never defeat him

I close my eyes
Fight the pain
Swallow my pride
And smother my fear
Because I know
I am on the winning side.

What is this constant battle we're fighting?
Light against the dark
Fire against the cold
Truth against the lies

An invisible enemy
Dark and deceptive
He is powerful
But when the soldiers come
He runs in terror

Though the shadows in the evening come
There is fire in our eyes
And passion in our hearts.
We stand strong and unwavering
Invincible because of the truth
Silent warriors united on an invisible battlefield

Who are we?
We have been brought up
Out of the fires of hell
The pits of dispair
And the depths of the worst shame
And given hope
For no earthly reason

We had no reason to live
And we were given purpose
No happiness in life
And we were given joy
We had constant turmoil
And we were given continuing peace
And we had no right to be forgiven
But forgiveness is given to us everyday.

Who are we?
We are ordinary men
With an extraordinary mission
Mighty and Powerful
Warriors of the truth
Messengers of love
Receivers of forgiveness

And on our own
We are nothing.

Hey people,

For anyone who wants to know, here is my new address at Calvin:

(My Name)
260 Veenstra Hall
Calvin College
Grand Rapids, MI 49546-4425

My dorm phone # is 616-526-0788. If you need to call then call. I don't yet have an answering machine, but my roommate is totally awesome, and if i'm not there just talk to her, i'm sure she won't mind. lol... or just call my cell. ;-)

My on-campus EM is now LKH4@calvin.edu

So today was "chaos day" at Calvin. For those of you non-Calvin people, chaos day is like an extremely glorified field day... only A TON more fun! Our girls and guys floors (one dorm) placed 2nd out of all 7 teams... and we almost won!! We won one of the events I entered. I'm soooo tired, and now I have no voice. hehe. Last night the dorms who didn't win last year (including ours) staged a jerico-like march around the previous year winner's dorm. It was at 2 in the morning, woot!!

This morning I was rudely awakened by a cow bell.
at 7am.
curses to those who do such deeds.

I pillaged 3 pops today.. I felt rebelious. that's right, don't mess.

BV ROCKS!!! WOOOOOO!
(holy crap i'm going preppy, someone shoot me.)

random quote from the tenor section:

Dr. Ivory: we need to re-distribute the tenor section. Who can sing tenor 1?
Tenors: not it, not it, not it, not it, not it....
Lone tenor: ... CRAP. *walks solemnly to front row*

Well I love you all dearly and I hope to hear from you soon! By the way... Wittwer can you see my blog now?? I miss you love!!

Love,
Kat

hey y'all!

Well those of you who said getting wisdom teeth taken out wasn't so bad were right for the most part. I wore my "Mr Bubble" pj's for reassurance, and I even got a few compliments. hehehe. I'll admit that I was pretty scared this morning sitting in the waiting room. The lady who put in my IV was nice. She and I had a somewhat long conversation about how the nurses who can never seem to get a needle into one of my veins.... She (thankfully) was not one of them, and I was happy. It's wierd sitting in a dentist chair with a bunch of nurses crowded over you, and the only noise you can hear is the heart monitor getting faster as you get more nervous. I wanted to smack the two who were talking about how much they hated their jobs as they walked around getting things ready. The surgeon was nice. He held my hand and told me i'd be ok. *sniffle* I wish they were all like that. The last things I sensed as I was going under were the 4 shots of novicane they gave me and the surgeon telling me "you'll feel a poke". I didn't stay asleep long after either, I felt the nurse taking the IV out of my arm and immediatly woke up. It was trippy man. haha. So I came home and watched some tv and attempted to eat a litle later (i've developed a new appreciation for cottage cheese and spaghetti O's). I feel lots better now! My aunt said I didn't even sound like i'd had surgery. Everyone is being really nice to me too. I get to eat ice cream and watch tv all day! The only thing that bugged me about the ordeal was the fact that they had to stretch my lips to the point of tearing to get to the back of my mouth. That hurts, but i'll survive. Thanks everyone for your continuing support!

I love all 4 of you who read this a lot and I hope to talk to you before I have to leave!

Oh, and thanks for the flowers Love!! They're beautiful!! I never knew carnations came in that color. =D

Love,
Laura

Guess who's back!!
....
That's right, it's me! Didn't y'all miss me? hehehe. Or maybe you were hoping i'd never come back? ;-) I missed you guys.

So I walked outside onto my back porch this morning and was verbally assualted by some strange animal on top of my roof. It had the face of a lemur (however you spell that), the tail of a squirl, and it sounded like a monkey... (no i'm not on acid, this happened). It just barked at me a few times and scuttled away. Dude... talk about a wierd homecoming... Oh, and it was eating my peaches!!!
So after lunch I think i'm gonna do a little peach-eating-alien-monkey-squirl hunting. Anyone interested can join me. Stupid little alien must die.
Oh, and speaking of stupid...
I'm currently without a driver's liscense. It's in Ohio in my boyfriend's wallet. *looks sheepish* He, being the wonderful, loving person that he is, is mailing it back to me. =)
Meh. I've had worse incidents...

There's never a dull moment in this house...
Anyways, i'll talk to you guys soon hopefully. Give me a call.

Next post i'll tell you about my trip!