God is Amazing...

I took a mental health day today.
Skipped 2 classes and slept and prayed until lunch time.

I feel so much better... in fact, i've found new direction in life. I am not looking for a relationship anymore. This is the time of my life where I will make a lot of friends, develop relationships, and grow spiritually and mentally into an adult.... and eventually i'll be ready for love again. Yes, i'm not giving up don't worry.

I signed up for counciling today. I also decided to change my major. Yup, change my major. I am no longer studying music as anything but an interest. In fact, i'm dropping music theory as soon as possible. I woke up this morning a more mature person, and I feel more in tune with myself and with God. I realized that, while music is my passion, my real joy in life is people... and of course, God. I am now thinking of double majoring in Religion and Psychology. Most of you won't be surprised (my guess). This opens up so many doors for me. I can finally do what has always been my passion: helping people, and combine that with my fascination with God and theology.

My problem has just been me mis-placing my insight. Instead of studying and enhancing whatever talent God has given me, i've been putting it into relationships that I/other people are not ready for. Really hurts now, but at least I understand. I have my own emotional baggage to take care of before I can be in a serious relationship... and I can't be with anyone else with serious emotional problems. I have some hope now... I don't understand how God does it, but I begged for some answers and I got them overnight. Doesn't always happen that way... but I'm glad I got them at the beginning of the semester.

I hope now I can sit here and be patient, and my drive to find love can be put on hold for awhile. This is for sure though: I'm not gonna fall fast anymore. I've gotta learn to put up some kind of barrier around my heart so I don't fall so hard.

By the way, I love you Wittwer! You are my best friend and I appeciate all the love and support you give me... even when I don't always tell you what's going on. Sorry 'bout that. I love you always!

This coming to you from the freed heart of a greatful Christian,

Love you all!