You are about to read (in rather scattered form) my newly realized worldview
A lot has been happening, and I suppose thats why I've neglected this page for so long. Busy-ness is a common excuse these days, and i'm sure you all understand how crazy times can be. But activity isn't the predominant thing that has been troubling me lately.
The main reason I haven't been writing is because I haven't been able to think clearly.
Something strange happens to you when you start to seriously question the fundamental beliefs that support your thoughts and actions- Your distracted brain stops putting things together correctly. Never, and I mean Never, did I ever imagine that I would come to a point where I could rationalize my faith in Christ. It turns out I was very very wrong. I can rationalize it, and I did for a time. That time, or rather the climax of that time, was right before I came back to school this year. Try to imagine what its like to feel lost and confused in your spiritual life and then to have to go take classes in it... and be GRADED... I was pretty discouraged, to put it lightly.
But its curious how strong faith is for those who have tasted it. No matter how confused and disheartened I got, I couldn't bring myself to deny my own past experience. I've seen God work powerfully and intentionally in my life, and in others' lives. There is no way that those experiences could have been driven by a naive hope in something that exists only in the mind, or in the minds of others. I really felt for a time that if God really was there, than he was gone, or removed, or even powerless- that we were naming Him after senimental feelings of love, or using Him as a crutch when we we couldn't find hope. Nearly all religious practice can be explained by the anecdotes of Freud, Marx, and Nietzsche, or in the writings of men like Joseph Campbell. It's true, and everyone should consider this.
This was where I was stuck for a long time- What if i'm making up my own spirituality? Do I believe what I believe only becuase i'm told to? What if I were born into another religion, or, what if I'd been born without a religion? Would I really still believe that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world?
I didn't feel like it was possible to budge from these questions- like I was going to have to satisfy myself with logical, strictly physical answers or I would never have resolution. It seemed like Christians who had experienced spirituality never really considered/struggled with these questions, and people who had did not understand my experiences with faith and spirituality. I alternated between feeling stupid for continuing to believe in a God that I could explain away through logic, and ridiculous for giving simple answers to complex events I knew I couldn't explain away.
That was the trouble- If I gave in to a naturalistic worldview, I would be denying the presence of a spiritual power acting in the the physical world. If I did that, then there was no problem in saying that God does not exist. Furthermore, I could write off everyone else who was a "spritiual person" as illogical and uncritical of the evidence and of the power of symbol in the human mind. If I ignored myself and focused on every other Christian I knew, I could deny the existance of God. However, I have seen an unexplained power working in my life, and the only logical, all-encompasing name that I can give it is "God".
It took me quite sometime to straighten that difference out.
The question about the existance of God eventually comes down to this: "Is there, or is there not a supernatural power working in this world?"
And, if your answer is immediately "no", then you must ask yourself whether or not you think people like me are lying or are misled, and why. And, if the answer could even possibly be "no", then you must ask yourself whether or not you think it is possible that you yourself have missed something.
All of this I've considered, and concluded that I am not crazy or illogical or misled. I cannot deny what I know to be true in myself and in every other culture of the world- There is an outside force acting in this world we live in, and it is personal and specific in its interaction with humanity.
And now... I am a universalist...
HA! just kidding.
I am a follower of Christ. And next time, I will tell you why...
2 comments:
You wrote:
"There is no way that those experiences could have been driven by a naive hope in something that exists only in the mind, or in the minds of others."
I wonder: on what *basis* are you certain about this? The feeling of absolute certainty that one's beliefs reflect reality is shared by people of all sorts of different beliefs, some of which contradict yours.
regards,
Tom Clark
Center for Naturalism
I don't claim to possess ultimate knowledge. However, I do believe that there is truth in every worldview/religion/philosophy that is out there. All that I claim (which I hope to address more thouroughly in a later post) is that there is something inherently missing in other traditions that I propose could be the fulfillment of those traditions. Yes I do realize that other traditions do not think themselves in need of "fulfillment". I see religion in general as a beautiful search for God or Truth or whatever word one wants to use. I think we might both agree, however, that as soon as someone claims knowledge of Ultimate Truth, they can be counted as mistaken. That isn't what i'm attempting to argue. I will argue, however, that the most fully revealed truth is found in my understanding.
As for beliefs that contradict mine, I would be interested in learning what exactly those are.
Thank you for your wisdom. I would love to hear any other responses you have to what I've written.
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