G'day all,
I would like to start out by saying that Echinacea tea is very soothing. I'm not much of a drinker (of anything. I don't mean alcohol, I'm not a drinker of that either). My suitemates call my tea "euthanasia tea" because of the similarity of words and also because it makes me pretty mellow... and also because the box it comes in shows strange pictures of Indian mystics meditating.... Go figure, i'm not dead yet. lol. At least it keeps me hydrated.
Will, after staying up half the night doing one of those walks to fight cancer, woke up very sick. I learned this afternoon that he, like me, is hillarious when sick. I don't say this to embarrass him, but the truth is, our conversation was quite amusing. I don't know exactly what it is that fevers do to the mind, but when some people get fevers they develop a sort of irregular creative thought pattern that is both inspiring and completely incoherent. I know what you're thinking, and yes, perhaps you're right. This could also be called "madness"... But before you write me off, consider all the genius works of literature and art that were created by people who had "slightly altered" minds... At one point in our conversation Will called American vowels "whores", and proceeded to explain their permiscuous and incestual relations with one another, the result of which is the English language and the existance of far more vowels than the 5 we acknowledge... I have probably stated this incorrectly, but he has a fever so he may never know... hehehe. Get some rest love.
I've been a complete hermit for the past week and a half, and for some reason it hasn't bothered me that much. I've done a lot of reading, which is what I need to be doing for class. The other day I realized that i've been pulling away from some of my friendships here. It hasn't been a conscious thing, but i've learned a lot from it. At the beginning of the year my roommate of 2 years and one of my other friends announced that they were going to get a house together next year. I wasn't mad when she told me, I was just dissapointed and a little hurt. Its just that I spent a year and a half trying to become intimate with this group of people, and their friendships were the deepest I had here. Unfortunately, they've all known each other since they were little. I understand that, I really do, I have friends like that back home (I miss you guys a lot btw). I guess they just didn't ever really need anyone else. *shrugs* What can ya do? Anyways, so i've been spending time with my future apartment-mates. You really find out who cares when you stop making all the effort. There is one thing that does really bug me- The only reason one of my friends ever comes into my room is to ask where my room mate is... *sigh* people bug me sometimes. Luckily I have amazing friends here and at home... And don't get me wrong, I love my room mate to death. I'm over it.
Well kids, I must go study.
Peace!
April 08, 2006
April 06, 2006
A very personal post... made very public.
I'm reading a book for a class written by a missionary serving in Africa. In Africa, he says, if you get bitten by a snake, the only way to survive is to draw the poison from the wound slowly. It takes quite some time, but you will survive.
People tell me that i'm "tough". I'm not sure what this means, but perhaps in some capacity they are right. I grew up surrounded by depression, anger, and lonliness. Not to say that my childhood was bad, or that I don't love my family, that is purely untrue. All families have their tough times, and mine is no exception. Its just that in my home, everyone was lonely.
I don't know what miracle or divine scheme protected me from depression in high school, but somehow, unlike most of my friends and family, I resisted it. My sister writes in her poetry that depression is a painful darkness- darkness of the mind, of the spirit, of the body. There is no place you can point to and say "this hurts". It's either all numb, or all pain. When she is depressed, the darkness does the talking for her. I've seen it time and time again. One tiny thing goes amiss, and that darkness starts pouring out in an uncontrolled string of hate, anger, and self-loathing. When I went home over spring break, she had run out of her medication, and flew into a rage over not being allowed to drive the car on the interstate (she just got her lerner's permit). It's true, it does seem selfish to demand the right to drive where ever you want when first learning, and I was a little shocked to see a 15 year-old acting 2. We were going to a resturant (it was my last meal at home before going back to school), and she was so mad at mom for not letting her drive that she stormed into the restroom and stayed there. My mom just slumped over in her chair, looking so sad and so defeated. Finally, I walked into the bathroom and called my sisiter out of the stall. I told her I was sorry she was out of her medication, but the way she had acted was very out of line. The girl who emerged from the bathroom wasn't the girl I had heard hurling insults at Mom a few minutes earlier. She was just ashamed of the way she had acted, and frustrated that she wasn't able to contain it. It took me years to figure it out. I still get mad when that hateful spew begins, but now I understand it. Now I just cry thinking about my little sister living in the dark.
When I was 8 or 9 I wrote in my diary that I was afraid my mom and dad were going to get divorced. I remember running to my mom's room crying and asking her flat out- "Are you and dad going to get divorced?". I still remember her face- such surprise and sadness that I would think such a thought. "No Laura" she told me, "I don't want to leave your father, and as far as I know he doesn't want to leave me. Don't worry." I've seen my mother cry many times since that day.
I remember very clearly that summer day in early highschool. Dad was in England on a trip. I heard the basement door open, and saw the figure of my mom walk into the kitchen, but nothing about her was my mom. Now, when you live with and spend time around people, you can generally tell when something is going on with them. "Are you ok?" I asked. Right question, wrong time. Then my mom, who before that day never expressed her feelings, broke down on the floor, sobbing like her life would end. I was so shocked that I also burst into tears. She didn't say much. All she said was "Dad is looking at a job in England."
Children are never supposed to be supports for their parents, but I never knew that. At the time, my mom didn't know she was using me, and in recent years we have developed a much healthier and balanced relationship. I would never judge my mom for being honest with me, and I have forgiven her of any wrongs she may have done me. We have both learned a lot. My mom has lived in the dark for longer than I have been alive, and only recently has she been able to emerge and see herself and her life clearly. I admire her for her decision to get help and take control of herself for the first time.
Through-out my later highschool years I served as comfort to mother and sometimes sister, mediator, councilor, etc, etc... In that time I grew up. There was no time for anything else. Somehow, that little girl who knew nothing about pain and grief and relationships with family matured beyond her years. I don't say this to sound arrogant, though I am thankful for the knowledge I gained. I quickly realized the situation I was in, and what was wrong with it. I learned what things like patience, compassion, communication, servitude, and grace are. I loved more deeply than ever before, but I also hurt more than ever.
Fast-forward through the next few years. These are some scenes from my life you might be surprised by: Overheard late night conversations, midnight expeditions (I sleep over the garage door for pete's sake), false information never explained, and the observation of an unknowing friend resulting in my embarrassment and a dead end explanation.
But now, its all over. Mom and Dad are over. I guess i'll just "get over it", "move on", and continue to be treated like none of it happened to me- Like I am too ignorant in my youth to understand or handle the truth. So go ahead and assume its all about you. Until you can appoligize for those years of confusion and pain and acknowlege that you should have done the job that I was doing for you, I don't want to talk about it. I didn't want to play "head of the household" for my teen years, but I did because I love you. You see, all I want is to love you fully, but you have to let me. You can start with the mysteries, thats all I ask for- answers.
I'm sorry that the truth hurts. But I have to get rid of this poison before it kills the good in me. I only hope what I say now can be the beginning of something new and beautiful. That's all I want- answers. But thats not really what I want-
What I want is love. Love is built on trust.
People tell me that i'm "tough". I'm not sure what this means, but perhaps in some capacity they are right. I grew up surrounded by depression, anger, and lonliness. Not to say that my childhood was bad, or that I don't love my family, that is purely untrue. All families have their tough times, and mine is no exception. Its just that in my home, everyone was lonely.
I don't know what miracle or divine scheme protected me from depression in high school, but somehow, unlike most of my friends and family, I resisted it. My sister writes in her poetry that depression is a painful darkness- darkness of the mind, of the spirit, of the body. There is no place you can point to and say "this hurts". It's either all numb, or all pain. When she is depressed, the darkness does the talking for her. I've seen it time and time again. One tiny thing goes amiss, and that darkness starts pouring out in an uncontrolled string of hate, anger, and self-loathing. When I went home over spring break, she had run out of her medication, and flew into a rage over not being allowed to drive the car on the interstate (she just got her lerner's permit). It's true, it does seem selfish to demand the right to drive where ever you want when first learning, and I was a little shocked to see a 15 year-old acting 2. We were going to a resturant (it was my last meal at home before going back to school), and she was so mad at mom for not letting her drive that she stormed into the restroom and stayed there. My mom just slumped over in her chair, looking so sad and so defeated. Finally, I walked into the bathroom and called my sisiter out of the stall. I told her I was sorry she was out of her medication, but the way she had acted was very out of line. The girl who emerged from the bathroom wasn't the girl I had heard hurling insults at Mom a few minutes earlier. She was just ashamed of the way she had acted, and frustrated that she wasn't able to contain it. It took me years to figure it out. I still get mad when that hateful spew begins, but now I understand it. Now I just cry thinking about my little sister living in the dark.
When I was 8 or 9 I wrote in my diary that I was afraid my mom and dad were going to get divorced. I remember running to my mom's room crying and asking her flat out- "Are you and dad going to get divorced?". I still remember her face- such surprise and sadness that I would think such a thought. "No Laura" she told me, "I don't want to leave your father, and as far as I know he doesn't want to leave me. Don't worry." I've seen my mother cry many times since that day.
I remember very clearly that summer day in early highschool. Dad was in England on a trip. I heard the basement door open, and saw the figure of my mom walk into the kitchen, but nothing about her was my mom. Now, when you live with and spend time around people, you can generally tell when something is going on with them. "Are you ok?" I asked. Right question, wrong time. Then my mom, who before that day never expressed her feelings, broke down on the floor, sobbing like her life would end. I was so shocked that I also burst into tears. She didn't say much. All she said was "Dad is looking at a job in England."
Children are never supposed to be supports for their parents, but I never knew that. At the time, my mom didn't know she was using me, and in recent years we have developed a much healthier and balanced relationship. I would never judge my mom for being honest with me, and I have forgiven her of any wrongs she may have done me. We have both learned a lot. My mom has lived in the dark for longer than I have been alive, and only recently has she been able to emerge and see herself and her life clearly. I admire her for her decision to get help and take control of herself for the first time.
Through-out my later highschool years I served as comfort to mother and sometimes sister, mediator, councilor, etc, etc... In that time I grew up. There was no time for anything else. Somehow, that little girl who knew nothing about pain and grief and relationships with family matured beyond her years. I don't say this to sound arrogant, though I am thankful for the knowledge I gained. I quickly realized the situation I was in, and what was wrong with it. I learned what things like patience, compassion, communication, servitude, and grace are. I loved more deeply than ever before, but I also hurt more than ever.
Fast-forward through the next few years. These are some scenes from my life you might be surprised by: Overheard late night conversations, midnight expeditions (I sleep over the garage door for pete's sake), false information never explained, and the observation of an unknowing friend resulting in my embarrassment and a dead end explanation.
But now, its all over. Mom and Dad are over. I guess i'll just "get over it", "move on", and continue to be treated like none of it happened to me- Like I am too ignorant in my youth to understand or handle the truth. So go ahead and assume its all about you. Until you can appoligize for those years of confusion and pain and acknowlege that you should have done the job that I was doing for you, I don't want to talk about it. I didn't want to play "head of the household" for my teen years, but I did because I love you. You see, all I want is to love you fully, but you have to let me. You can start with the mysteries, thats all I ask for- answers.
I'm sorry that the truth hurts. But I have to get rid of this poison before it kills the good in me. I only hope what I say now can be the beginning of something new and beautiful. That's all I want- answers. But thats not really what I want-
What I want is love. Love is built on trust.
April 02, 2006
An Observation...
Ya know, facebook is an evil yet ingenius creation. The more I think about it, the more I like it.
Because I'm curious (or maybe just plain creepy), I occasionally go to blogs/xangas/insert online journal name of old friends that I don't keep in touch with anymore. Creepy, yeah I know. But these people, who I am now friends with through "facebook" all post their sites online for everyone to see. Usually the people I read are the people that I always wanted to know better but, for whatever reason, never did. My guess is that the rest of the world has a life, and so I may be alone in my curiosity. But perhaps i'm wrong...
It makes me a little sad to think about all the friendships that I don't keep up any more. Sometimes I read a blog and find out that the person I used to know has completely changed. More than a few times i've learned that someone has become an alcoholic or a burnout, or has 1.5 kids, or has given up on school, etc, etc... Its really sad. Even though I don't know them anymore I feel kinda like i've lost them all over again. Then again, I wonder who of my highschool friends could have envisioned me attending a Christian college, majoring in religion, and considering seminary... Yeah... Life just changes people.
I guess the truth for me goes something like this: I regret only half knowing people, yet its impossible to have meaningful friendships with so many people.
The reason I'm dwelling on this is because I stumbled across the xanga of a friend from way back-in-the-day (Lord, I must be aging...), and saw that they were complaining about not having many close friends. I felt bad for them, but theres nothing I can easily say to them without sounding like a nut (we were never close).
When I first came to college I met this guy. We'll call him "Ed". Ed and I had a class together. He was a really interesting guy; smart, funny, friendly, you know, just a really nice guy. But I was kinda intimidated by him (probably 'cause he always had clever things to say). By "intimidated", I mean that I was really quiet around him and when I would talk I could never really say anything interesting. Still, being a nice guy, he kept talking to me, but eventaully he kinda stopped. Thus it became akward, and we eventually stopped acknowledging each other at all. To this day i'm not sure if we stopped talking because he gave up, or because I put off too much of an "uninterested" vibe. Maybe one day we'll figure it out. This is another example of what i'm talking about. I hate "almost" friendships, they just bug me. Yet, they are unavoidable...
Because I'm curious (or maybe just plain creepy), I occasionally go to blogs/xangas/insert online journal name of old friends that I don't keep in touch with anymore. Creepy, yeah I know. But these people, who I am now friends with through "facebook" all post their sites online for everyone to see. Usually the people I read are the people that I always wanted to know better but, for whatever reason, never did. My guess is that the rest of the world has a life, and so I may be alone in my curiosity. But perhaps i'm wrong...
It makes me a little sad to think about all the friendships that I don't keep up any more. Sometimes I read a blog and find out that the person I used to know has completely changed. More than a few times i've learned that someone has become an alcoholic or a burnout, or has 1.5 kids, or has given up on school, etc, etc... Its really sad. Even though I don't know them anymore I feel kinda like i've lost them all over again. Then again, I wonder who of my highschool friends could have envisioned me attending a Christian college, majoring in religion, and considering seminary... Yeah... Life just changes people.
I guess the truth for me goes something like this: I regret only half knowing people, yet its impossible to have meaningful friendships with so many people.
The reason I'm dwelling on this is because I stumbled across the xanga of a friend from way back-in-the-day (Lord, I must be aging...), and saw that they were complaining about not having many close friends. I felt bad for them, but theres nothing I can easily say to them without sounding like a nut (we were never close).
When I first came to college I met this guy. We'll call him "Ed". Ed and I had a class together. He was a really interesting guy; smart, funny, friendly, you know, just a really nice guy. But I was kinda intimidated by him (probably 'cause he always had clever things to say). By "intimidated", I mean that I was really quiet around him and when I would talk I could never really say anything interesting. Still, being a nice guy, he kept talking to me, but eventaully he kinda stopped. Thus it became akward, and we eventually stopped acknowledging each other at all. To this day i'm not sure if we stopped talking because he gave up, or because I put off too much of an "uninterested" vibe. Maybe one day we'll figure it out. This is another example of what i'm talking about. I hate "almost" friendships, they just bug me. Yet, they are unavoidable...
April 01, 2006
Speak Lord. Your servant is listening...
When the music fades, all is stripped away, and I simply come...
Wanting just to bring something thats of worth that will bless Your heart.
I'll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within. From the way things appear, You're looking into my heart.
I'm coming back to the heart of worship, and its all about you. Its all about you, Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord for the thing i've made it, when its all about you.
Its all about you Jesus.
King of endless worth, no one could express how much you deserve.
Though i'm weak and poor, all I have is yours- every single breath.
I'll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within. From the way things appear, You're looking into my heart.
I'm coming back to the heart of worship, and its all about you. Its all about you, Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord for the thing i've made it, when its all about you.
Its all about you Jesus.
~ ~ ~
I bought a necklace today. I saw it hanging on the rack at New York and Company and it caught my eye. First, because its artistic beauty, and second because it was a cross. I don't normally buy jewelry, and the jewlry I do occasionally buy is not generally large and elaborately religious. Part of my reasoning is that these days people who wear large elaborate crosses are either conforming to materialistic fashion and robbing the symbol of all important meaning, or, they are being overtly religious in order to draw attention to themselves. Personally I am saddened by both ideas. But I don't want to anger anyone. I know that there are many people who sport religious jewlry out of a sincere desire to bear the symbol of their Savior. Its just that I myself am often afraid of wearing a cross because I don't want to find myself guilty of dragging the symbol of God deeper into the mud (though alas, it is unavoidable anyway). I suppose this fear points to deeper personal issues of dealing with sin, but I will spare you all and go back to what I was originally saying.
For some reason, seeing that Cross being prominently displayed in a department store nearly brought me to tears. So, I bought it. The more I look at it, the more I think about it, the more i'm reminded what it stands for.
Have a wonderful week.
Wanting just to bring something thats of worth that will bless Your heart.
I'll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within. From the way things appear, You're looking into my heart.
I'm coming back to the heart of worship, and its all about you. Its all about you, Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord for the thing i've made it, when its all about you.
Its all about you Jesus.
King of endless worth, no one could express how much you deserve.
Though i'm weak and poor, all I have is yours- every single breath.
I'll bring you more than a song, for a song in itself is not what you have required.
You search much deeper within. From the way things appear, You're looking into my heart.
I'm coming back to the heart of worship, and its all about you. Its all about you, Jesus.
I'm sorry Lord for the thing i've made it, when its all about you.
Its all about you Jesus.
~ ~ ~
I bought a necklace today. I saw it hanging on the rack at New York and Company and it caught my eye. First, because its artistic beauty, and second because it was a cross. I don't normally buy jewelry, and the jewlry I do occasionally buy is not generally large and elaborately religious. Part of my reasoning is that these days people who wear large elaborate crosses are either conforming to materialistic fashion and robbing the symbol of all important meaning, or, they are being overtly religious in order to draw attention to themselves. Personally I am saddened by both ideas. But I don't want to anger anyone. I know that there are many people who sport religious jewlry out of a sincere desire to bear the symbol of their Savior. Its just that I myself am often afraid of wearing a cross because I don't want to find myself guilty of dragging the symbol of God deeper into the mud (though alas, it is unavoidable anyway). I suppose this fear points to deeper personal issues of dealing with sin, but I will spare you all and go back to what I was originally saying.
For some reason, seeing that Cross being prominently displayed in a department store nearly brought me to tears. So, I bought it. The more I look at it, the more I think about it, the more i'm reminded what it stands for.
Have a wonderful week.
March 27, 2006
NEW BLOG!
Hello there all,
Just wanted to write a quick note and say that spring break was fantastic and I wish I were still at home... Stupid term papers *grumbles*
I started reading Donald Miller's new book today. It's called "To Own a Dragon", and is every bit as amazing as I had hoped. Definately go out and buy it, or one of his other books (Blue Like Jazz was my first, and remains my favorite). He is coming to speak at our school in a few weeks, so I plan on reading all of his books before he comes. Oh how I love his writing...
oh... and also of note:
I'VE POSTED A NEW BLOG. This one is for my music and will have some music-y blogs, bio information, and links to mp3s of my music, etc, etc... Please please please please check it out and then tell people about it. I am eternally indebted to all who check it out. Leave me feedback as well if you feel so compelled. Thanks guys. I'm so grateful for your help.
Here is the link (or you can just look on my profile)
http://laurahollingsworthmusic.blogspot.com
Have a great week!!!
Just wanted to write a quick note and say that spring break was fantastic and I wish I were still at home... Stupid term papers *grumbles*
I started reading Donald Miller's new book today. It's called "To Own a Dragon", and is every bit as amazing as I had hoped. Definately go out and buy it, or one of his other books (Blue Like Jazz was my first, and remains my favorite). He is coming to speak at our school in a few weeks, so I plan on reading all of his books before he comes. Oh how I love his writing...
oh... and also of note:
I'VE POSTED A NEW BLOG. This one is for my music and will have some music-y blogs, bio information, and links to mp3s of my music, etc, etc... Please please please please check it out and then tell people about it. I am eternally indebted to all who check it out. Leave me feedback as well if you feel so compelled. Thanks guys. I'm so grateful for your help.
Here is the link (or you can just look on my profile)
http://laurahollingsworthmusic.blogspot.com
Have a great week!!!
March 12, 2006
Survey I stole from Nilo.
Thanks for the questions Nilo, very fun and educational! Given my obvious attraction for survey questions... I couldnt resist.
So..
One more survey!
1.Have you ever been searched by the cops?
um..no
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
never! It's far too exciting.
3. When was the last time you went sleigh riding?
hmm.. ya know I don't think i've ever been sleigh riding.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Well, i'm used to sleeping alone, but sleeping with someone else would definately not be a bad thing.
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
I'm not sure. Do I believe in the supernatural? yes.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
yes.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
probably.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Jennifer Aniston, definately.
9. Can you honestly say you know anything about politics?
um... not enough I suppose.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
I think I know the general rules, but I am by no means good. I usually refuse to play. hehe.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
yes, more than once. It sucks, but by the 43rd hour I started to do strange strange things... Most of you who know me well and/or have had a sleep-over with me (Wittwer, Jackie, no telling secrets), you know what i'm like on little sleep (high sugar helps too)...
12. Do you kill bugs that are in the house?
no, I scream loudly and dance around until someone else comes and either kills it or releases it into the wild... Immature? maybe. But I can't really help it.. hehe.
13. Have you ever cheated on a test?
Not that I can remember.
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around, do you go through red lights?
No. For some reason it still seems to matter...
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Certainly. Actually, only me and maybe one other person.
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
*shrugs*
17. Have you ever ice skated?
lol. well I did compete at the sport for most of my life.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
I can normally remember at least one a week.
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you were crying?
Probably winter break. Ah friends, how I miss you. =)
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
I wanna hold your hand, Love me do, Yellow submarine, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, and Hey Jude. (no, I didn't cheat)
21. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I didn't think I did, but it might explain some things... ;-)
22. Do you know who BaBa Booey is?
uh...no.
23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
always. i'm not stupid.
24. What talent do you wish you had?
hmmm.... I wish I could act wd ell.
25. Do you like Sushi?
some of it. hehe.
26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
yes. Thank God for saving me...
27. What do you wear to bed?
pajamas... don't want to scare the hell out of my roommate.
28. Have you ever been caught stealing?
no, and I don't think i've stolen?
29. Does size matter?
what? uuh. no. tell you a secret guys; girls don't really want to think about that... or maybe i'm in the minority. nevermind... I have no idea.
30. Do you truly hate anyone?
not so far.
31. Rock and Roll or Rap?
rock all the way!
32. Do you have a relative in prison?
lol... not currently?
33. Have you ever sung in front of the mirror like your favorite singer?
duh.
34. Do you know how to play chess?
but of course.
35. What food do you find disgusting?
thai fish sauce. if you don't know what it is... you don't want to.
36. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?"
wha..? I don't even want to know what that is implying...no?
37. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
no.
38. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
yeah.
39. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Nope
40. When is the last time you threw up from drinking too much?
never.
41. Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater?
yeah, I walked out on "the order" because my friend was scared.
42. Do you ever sit through a bad movie, just to see how bad it got?
hehe yes. If you want to see a truly bad movie, see "the faculty".
43. Would you consider yourself obsessed with anything/anyone?
yes of course. I am a stalker! hehe kidding.
44. Have you ever met someone famous?
i've met a lot of ice skaters, and a few famous people.
45. Have you ever been stood up?
hmm..I don't think so.
46. When's the last time you screamed at the top of your lungs?
probably a while ago.
47. Did you ever do something that you didn't want to, but did anyway just to fit in?
yeah of course. who hasn't?
So..
One more survey!
1.Have you ever been searched by the cops?
um..no
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?
never! It's far too exciting.
3. When was the last time you went sleigh riding?
hmm.. ya know I don't think i've ever been sleigh riding.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?
Well, i'm used to sleeping alone, but sleeping with someone else would definately not be a bad thing.
5. Do you believe in ghosts?
I'm not sure. Do I believe in the supernatural? yes.
6. Do you consider yourself creative?
yes.
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?
probably.
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?
Jennifer Aniston, definately.
9. Can you honestly say you know anything about politics?
um... not enough I suppose.
10. Do you know how to play poker?
I think I know the general rules, but I am by no means good. I usually refuse to play. hehe.
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?
yes, more than once. It sucks, but by the 43rd hour I started to do strange strange things... Most of you who know me well and/or have had a sleep-over with me (Wittwer, Jackie, no telling secrets), you know what i'm like on little sleep (high sugar helps too)...
12. Do you kill bugs that are in the house?
no, I scream loudly and dance around until someone else comes and either kills it or releases it into the wild... Immature? maybe. But I can't really help it.. hehe.
13. Have you ever cheated on a test?
Not that I can remember.
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around, do you go through red lights?
No. For some reason it still seems to matter...
15. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you?
Certainly. Actually, only me and maybe one other person.
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?
*shrugs*
17. Have you ever ice skated?
lol. well I did compete at the sport for most of my life.
18. How often do you remember your dreams?
I can normally remember at least one a week.
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you were crying?
Probably winter break. Ah friends, how I miss you. =)
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?
I wanna hold your hand, Love me do, Yellow submarine, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, and Hey Jude. (no, I didn't cheat)
21. Do you believe in love at first sight?
I didn't think I did, but it might explain some things... ;-)
22. Do you know who BaBa Booey is?
uh...no.
23. Do you always wear your seat belt?
always. i'm not stupid.
24. What talent do you wish you had?
hmmm.... I wish I could act wd ell.
25. Do you like Sushi?
some of it. hehe.
26. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?
yes. Thank God for saving me...
27. What do you wear to bed?
pajamas... don't want to scare the hell out of my roommate.
28. Have you ever been caught stealing?
no, and I don't think i've stolen?
29. Does size matter?
what? uuh. no. tell you a secret guys; girls don't really want to think about that... or maybe i'm in the minority. nevermind... I have no idea.
30. Do you truly hate anyone?
not so far.
31. Rock and Roll or Rap?
rock all the way!
32. Do you have a relative in prison?
lol... not currently?
33. Have you ever sung in front of the mirror like your favorite singer?
duh.
34. Do you know how to play chess?
but of course.
35. What food do you find disgusting?
thai fish sauce. if you don't know what it is... you don't want to.
36. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours?"
wha..? I don't even want to know what that is implying...no?
37. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?
no.
38. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?
yeah.
39. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Nope
40. When is the last time you threw up from drinking too much?
never.
41. Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater?
yeah, I walked out on "the order" because my friend was scared.
42. Do you ever sit through a bad movie, just to see how bad it got?
hehe yes. If you want to see a truly bad movie, see "the faculty".
43. Would you consider yourself obsessed with anything/anyone?
yes of course. I am a stalker! hehe kidding.
44. Have you ever met someone famous?
i've met a lot of ice skaters, and a few famous people.
45. Have you ever been stood up?
hmm..I don't think so.
46. When's the last time you screamed at the top of your lungs?
probably a while ago.
47. Did you ever do something that you didn't want to, but did anyway just to fit in?
yeah of course. who hasn't?
March 09, 2006
Good day... *bows*
Hello!
Today has been deemed a great day. Why you might ask?
Well... let me tell you!
1. I didn't wear a coat to class. AND I got to wear sandals for the first time this year!!!!
2. Its a beautiful life.
3. Spring break is EXACTLY 1 week away!
4. Will's description of catching a chicken:
"It's imperative that you grab the thing by the softest and most delicious part..."
5. Will in general.
6. I found out today who my french ancestors are, and shall now tell you! They were French Hugonauts (sp?), A.K.A French Calvinists who fled persecution, and came to America. (I am a huge history nerd, and this stuff gets me going... bear with me). This means that, despite the fact that I'd never heard of the Christian Reformed Church and didn't know much about John Calvin before coming to this school, some of my ancestors were actually original followers of the school's name-sake.... Weird ay?
7. Ace of Base is playing on my stereo.
8. I got to dance today.
9. I plan to play the piano later tonight.
and
10. ONLY 1 MIDTERM LEFT!
So... as you can see, today is a most splendid day.
I had an assignment to turn in for my dance class today. It was truly life-changing. I discovered- through an expertly crafted mathematical point system- that I am "in good health". Its good to know that i'm bursting with nutrients... The assignment was a survey where you earned positive points for healthy eathing, and negative points for excess consumption, or eating junk food. As I read the descriptions of the different "health zones", I began to imagine a person representing each one. The lowest, and most unhealthy classification (-60 - 0 points) would be represented by an obese man in his mid 40s. He is overflowing the constrains of his armchair. One of his hands is extended towards the remote control, and clutched in the other is a box of twinkies, though we could substitute a can of lard and/or spam. These foods, I have decided, are in fact Satan; processed, enclosed in colorful packaging, and labled "edible". This, however, is only my opinion. Eat the crap if you so desire... Anyways, the middle categories aren't important as they rather accurately describe the body of the population. Envision, however, the overly-healthy person. There was actually a picture on this survey of a woman who I presume fit the category of "overly healthy" (or as we would say, "a most disgusting person"). The woman in the picture was a sort of freak combination of anorexic fitness model/hair-care commercial-girl. Her fitness points are probably off the chart; her body perfectly toned (but overly skinny), skin glowing with the aura of health. And, of course, her long hair and sparking eyes glowing as if she were a magical sea nymph plucked out of some ancient Greek myth.... Now I don't know if there are magical sea nymphs with glowing hair and eyes in Greek mythology.... but you get my point. If my "fittness points" were that high, I would immediately run out and buy a box of Satan twinkies, devour every one, and scold myself for being anal, abstemious, and vain....
But perhaps i'm over-reacting...
hehehe...
I love you all. Sorry I haven't written you in a while. I will work on that....
I have one other fact that I wish to made known: Men are much more straightforward than women.... that is all.
Oh, and also, if you know me pretty well, please go here and play this game. It'll take all of 2 minutes.
http://kevan.org/johari?name=LauraKat
thanks guys!
Peace.
Today has been deemed a great day. Why you might ask?
Well... let me tell you!
1. I didn't wear a coat to class. AND I got to wear sandals for the first time this year!!!!
2. Its a beautiful life.
3. Spring break is EXACTLY 1 week away!
4. Will's description of catching a chicken:
"It's imperative that you grab the thing by the softest and most delicious part..."
5. Will in general.
6. I found out today who my french ancestors are, and shall now tell you! They were French Hugonauts (sp?), A.K.A French Calvinists who fled persecution, and came to America. (I am a huge history nerd, and this stuff gets me going... bear with me). This means that, despite the fact that I'd never heard of the Christian Reformed Church and didn't know much about John Calvin before coming to this school, some of my ancestors were actually original followers of the school's name-sake.... Weird ay?
7. Ace of Base is playing on my stereo.
8. I got to dance today.
9. I plan to play the piano later tonight.
and
10. ONLY 1 MIDTERM LEFT!
So... as you can see, today is a most splendid day.
I had an assignment to turn in for my dance class today. It was truly life-changing. I discovered- through an expertly crafted mathematical point system- that I am "in good health". Its good to know that i'm bursting with nutrients... The assignment was a survey where you earned positive points for healthy eathing, and negative points for excess consumption, or eating junk food. As I read the descriptions of the different "health zones", I began to imagine a person representing each one. The lowest, and most unhealthy classification (-60 - 0 points) would be represented by an obese man in his mid 40s. He is overflowing the constrains of his armchair. One of his hands is extended towards the remote control, and clutched in the other is a box of twinkies, though we could substitute a can of lard and/or spam. These foods, I have decided, are in fact Satan; processed, enclosed in colorful packaging, and labled "edible". This, however, is only my opinion. Eat the crap if you so desire... Anyways, the middle categories aren't important as they rather accurately describe the body of the population. Envision, however, the overly-healthy person. There was actually a picture on this survey of a woman who I presume fit the category of "overly healthy" (or as we would say, "a most disgusting person"). The woman in the picture was a sort of freak combination of anorexic fitness model/hair-care commercial-girl. Her fitness points are probably off the chart; her body perfectly toned (but overly skinny), skin glowing with the aura of health. And, of course, her long hair and sparking eyes glowing as if she were a magical sea nymph plucked out of some ancient Greek myth.... Now I don't know if there are magical sea nymphs with glowing hair and eyes in Greek mythology.... but you get my point. If my "fittness points" were that high, I would immediately run out and buy a box of Satan twinkies, devour every one, and scold myself for being anal, abstemious, and vain....
But perhaps i'm over-reacting...
hehehe...
I love you all. Sorry I haven't written you in a while. I will work on that....
I have one other fact that I wish to made known: Men are much more straightforward than women.... that is all.
Oh, and also, if you know me pretty well, please go here and play this game. It'll take all of 2 minutes.
http://kevan.org/johari?name=LauraKat
thanks guys!
Peace.
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