So today I was walking out of my dorm to go to my 11:30 class, not really paying attention to my surroundings. It was really foggy outside and I felt like I was walking into some kind of cold climate rainforest (is it called a Taiga?... maybe not..). Right. So I was walking down that ramp thing that is designed for wheel chairs and lazy people who can't walk up 3 stairs. Out of the corner of my eye I saw something move on the railing that was beside me, and there was this enormous squirl standing on it, on it's hind legs, starring at me.... Now I can't say i've seen too many squirls that close up before, but this was a big squirl. I would have pet it, but it was too creepy and large and beady-eyed. Now I kinda wish I had... Yup, that was the highlight of my day so far. I think i'll name him Bob. Bob the squirl.

Only a week till Thanksgiving!! I can't wait to eat real food!! The dining hall attempted to serve stuffing w/ chicken for lunch today, but I couldn't tell the stuffing from the chicken... It kinda looked like they threw it all into a blender and set it to liquidate. I've already lost about 10 lbs while at this school (which I could never afford to do in the first place!). Now I know that's not entirely because I'm not eating as much (I haven't been skating or doing any training), i've also lost muscle mass.. I miss being buff. lol. In 8th grade could do 230lbs on squats... the other day I did reps of 100. hmmmm. Time to get back in shape.. I do kinda like having my pants not being so tight in the legs though...

I've decided, after much consideration and a lot of brainwashing by Kyla, Angela, Christy, and Leah, that i'm gonna TRY growing out my bangs... I'm not really one of those people who is afraid of change, but the fact is that i've had my hair this way since... well I had long enough hair to have bangs... I don't know if i'll like it, or if i'll turn into frankenstein 'cause of my big forehead, but I guess i've been getting comments from people since the beginning of highschool telling me to grow them out. Girls are so stupidly insecure. lol. If they're right, and this style is making me look younger, then it needs to go. I can't afford to look any younger than I already do. haha.

I am considering going to seminary someday. I never thought i'd even dream of this, but something has changed me, and now I am thinking about it. I asked a Pastor if he had any advice for me. I told him the only reason I want to go is to gain more knowledge, not to be ordained, and he asked me what I was going to do with that knowledge... You'd think that'd be the first thing i'd consider wouldn't you? Well, fact is, I hadn't. I still don't know. I'm not a natural born leader by any means. I've considered turning my music ED degree into a "worship music" degree so I could be a worship leader, and so far, that doesn't sound like a bad idea. I do want to be a conductor someday. Plus, how could I not conduct music I write myself? *sigh* we'll see... i've just gotta relax a little, i'm thinking too much.

I've decided that my self esteem should be a heck of a lot higher than it is. I mean, come on, God has given me everything I need to be happy and healthy, I'm at a great college, I have great friends all over the country, a mostly happy family, decent grades, there are 2 boys that want to marry me. lol... I am happy, I guess I just need to remember everything that I have, and leave the rest to God... As for relationships, well only time and God will tell what happens there. As for now, i'm just gonna take one day at a time and see where i'm led. Life isn't supposed to be easy, (I can hear someone I know saying "duh!") but there are tricks to make it seem like it is...

Wow... long post. That doesn't happen often. ;-)
Well I love you guys!
See you soon, and God Bless!!